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Thursday, April 28, 2022

Life Tips For My Son




Life Tips






For My Son





If a father doesn’t teach his son about reality, 

reality will be his teacher.


Contents


  1. How To Be

  2. Habits

  3. Push Yourself

  4. Mindset & Learning

  5. On Style

  6. Lifting Weights

  7. Women

  8. Environment

  9. Investing

  10. How to Be a Better Writer

  11. Books To Read


How To Be:


To My Beloved Son,


First and foremost, I love you no matter what, am your biggest fan, and love seeing you grow, learn and succeed.


I write this guide to help you a bit on the adventure of life. I may not be here to teach you some of these lessons. That’s why I wrote this. Some of these truths will make you/others feel uncomfortable.

It’s ok, real truths are hard for some to hear.  Love, Dad.



How to be as a man:

  • Bold, not a bully

  • Humble, not apologetic

  • Confident, not conceited

  • Proud, not arrogant 

  • Strong, not rude

  • Cool, not cold

  • Detached, not indifferent 

  • Content, not complacent 

  • Firm, not stubborn


Do not be soft. Do not be a tyrant. Be firm, but be fair.


There is an aspect of Dualism in how we should be as men:

Dualism:

  • Be strong and smooth

  • Be aggressive and flexible

  • Be confident and skeptical/willing to change your mind.

  • “He who is only an athlete is too crude, too vulgar, too much a savage. He who is a scholar only is too soft, too effeminate. The ideal citizen is the scholar athlete, the man of thought and the man of action.” - Plato


As a man you should:


  • Have a high chill factor (slow to anger)

  • Do hard shit

  • Be allergic to whining and complaining

  • Do what you say (man of action)

  • Have a sense of humor 


Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm”. Now, the word ‘enthusiasm’ derives from the ancient Greek for ‘To be filled with God’. Go through life and your days with an unwavering and positive spirit.

Habits:

What you do each day/week is who you are. Having good habits and growing daily will put you on a great path. Inversely, having bad habits(watching news/porn, drinking alcohol/consuming drugs, too much video games) can devour years of your blessed life. Avoid them.


—----------------------------------------------------------from @Naval

Fast, lift, sprint, stretch, and meditate.


Build, sell, write, create, invest, and own.


Read, reflect, love, seek truth, and ignore society.


Make these habits. Say no to everything else.


Avoid debt, jail, addiction, disgrace, shortcuts, and media.


Relax. Victory is assured.

—----------------------------------------------------------

Work on cultivating these traits/qualities every day.


Disciplined

Strong 

Courageous 

Skilled

Connected to other men

On a mission to bring value to others


Habits that have a high rate of return in life:

  • sleep 8+ hours each day

  • lift weights 3x week

  • go for a walk each day

  • save and invest at least 10 percent of your income

  • read/learn every day

  • work on problems/skills that compound. 

  • drink more water and less of everything else

  • leave your phone in another room while you work


Strong:

Son, the best version of yourself, is a very strong one. Lift heavy weights, push yourself, and become a strong athlete.  “A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control” - Jordan Peterson

A king embodies the strength of the warrior, the mind of the magician, and the kindness of the lover.


Push yourself:

You can push a lot harder than you think.


How do I know this?

Because your ancestors (and mine) survived plagues, famines, wars, natural disasters, and a whole host of other nasty stuff.


Survivorship is in our DNA.


You think your problems are bad? Read Night by Ellie Wiesel.



On potential:

  • You are capable of WAY more than you think. Push yourself as hard as you can, and keep going. Struggling and mistakes are an important part of how we learn. As long as you’re learning, you’re not failing. The Fear of Embarrassment murders Growth. Keep. Going.


There are few problems in your life that you couldn't solve with the right mixture of aggression, discipline, and focus.


Competition

Push yourself to do the things you're scared to do, but know are good for you.


“Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who somebody else is today.” - Jordan Peterson


Your competition isn't other people. Your competition is:

-Your procrastination

-Your ego

-The knowledge you neglect to learn

-The antisocial behavior you're nurturing

-The unhealthy food you constantly consume

-Your lack of creativity


  • Life isn’t fair. Do the best you can with what you have.


Competition is a good thing. It makes us stronger. It makes us excellent. 







Purpose:


  • Kid says, "I don't know what to do"

That's ok. nobody does. Go DO something. Do the best thing you can think of. Put the best plan you have into practice. It's not going to be perfect, and it will change along the way. As you become wiser, you will be able to build better and better plans.


  • "I don't know what I want to do with my Life"

Start by Writing down your own Obituary.

To do so, Ask yourself :

1. How do I want to be Remembered ?
2. What did I Create?
3. How did I LIVE my Life?

Some Big Clues in these Answers.



  • "I don't know what my Purpose is". Hold off on your 'Purpose'.
    Ask : What am I curious about?
    What holds my Attention?
    What Fascinates me?
    What do I want to know more about?
    Who do I enjoy helping?

    Find your 'Interest' first. Pursue it- Become Competent. Purpose will Develop.




How to improve your life: 

  • Dress better 

  • Eat healthier 

  • Train harder 

  • Read more 

  • Take risks 

  • Laugh more 

  • Complain less 

  • Help others 

  • Be grateful 

  • Check the ego

  • Find the right girl, and have a family.


Improve yourself so you can improve your family, improve your family so you can improve your society.


Mindset & Learning

  • Power mindset shifts. Aim towards the mindset of the person on the right:

    Consumer-->Producer
    Employee-->Entrepreneur
    Survivor-->Thriver
    Scarcity-->Abundance
    Revenge-->Forgiveness
    Fear-->Love






What to learn:


The Five Greatest Skills (from Naval)

  1. Reading

  2. Writing

  3. Arithmetic

  4. Speaking/Persuasion

  5. Computer Programming


If you’re going to go to college, study Computer Science, Math, the Sciences(physics/chem/(possibly bio if wanting to go into medicine), or Engineering.  Also, regardless, become skilled in the five above for more power. If you’re not going to university, learn a valuable trade that will still be needed when you’re 50/60 years old. (Think plumbing/electrician)


“Learn to Sell. Learn to Build. If you can do both, you’ll be unstoppable.”-Naval


Don’t be afraid to start your own business. Starting my own business was one of the most fun and rewarding experiences of my life.


On Planning Your Future:

  • Plan your future. Write a story of your life. Author your future. Aim towards it. Have a vision. Where do you want to be in 1 year? In 5 years? You are capable of greatness. 


  • Do you write down your goals? Every year, write down your goals of what you want to learn/do in this coming year. Write down how you’re going to achieve those goals. Change your habits/systems to achieve your aim.


On Leadership:

  • Read ‘How to win friends and gain influence” - Dale Carnegie.

  • Read ‘Extreme Ownership’ by Jocko Willink

How to be a friend:

Be the biggest fan of the people you care about. 

Defend them.

Keep the hope alive. 

Make them look good. 

Catch them when they fall. 

Be there when they need you.

Root for them unconditionally.

Help them accomplish their dreams.

Always be 100% honest and truthful with them.

Best friends are loyal and will be there for you, no matter what.

Style 

Aesthetics and Beauty Matter. There are many things you can do to make yourself and your appearance more beautiful.  Dress like the man you want to be. When you look good, you feel good. You execute better. When you dress well, people will treat you differently and more opportunities will come your way.


Building muscle mass is one of the best things you can do to improve your style. When you have big arms, literally a plain t-shirt looks good.





Shoes:

When it comes to style, shoes are very important. Buy quality shoes. They are a key part of any outfit. Wear the proper shoes for the occasion. Some good shoes are Brown Monk Straps, Desert Boots, Chukka Boots, Boat Shoes, Casual Sneakers, and Drivers.


Shorts:


Your shorts should always hit you ABOVE the knee. 

Don’t forget leg day so you can show off those quads.

Contrast and Color:         

Asian men typically have a medium to high contrast. They tend to look best in high contrast outfits (left) vs low contrast outfits (right). The second look is still solid but I give the edge to the guy on the left. From @wellbuiltstyle.




Building Muscle:


Lifting weights is one of the best habits you can have. It makes you stronger, more attractive, more respected. The best version of you is a strong one. Here’s a one-page summary on the basics to get started lifting and becoming the best version of yourself:

Great Lifts for Each Muscle Group

How often?

  • Lift 3 – 5 times per week. Do cardio(>15 mins) at least 3X a week. Be active every day.


How many sets?

  • 1-2 sets, 2 exercises per Muscle Group – to failure. (Could vary a bit here due to exercise)


Tips:

  • KEEP A LOG of your training. Could be a journal, notebook, or an app on your phone.

  • Always aim for doing at least 1 more rep than your last lift.

  • Print out your weekly exercise schedule and hang it somewhere easy to see.

  • Workout Consistently, and you will have a top physique in a few years.

  • Diet is critical. Eat mostly foods from nature.(meat,fish/seafood,eggs,vegies,fruits)

  • A bad workout day is better than no workout day. Discipline = Freedom. 

  • A 9” drop from Chest measurement to Waist Measurement is a great target.

  • Embody this system. Being strong and fit is who you are. Working out is what you do.

Women:

  • “To find a worthy mate, first be worthy of a worthy mate.” – Charlie Munger

  • Men Propose, Women Dispose. Go after that girl you like. Don’t be afraid of rejection.

  • Do not marry a woman who takes the idea of a divorce lightly.

  • Don't marry someone you don't want to be your kids' mother and don't sleep with someone you don't want to marry.

  • The woman you marry and have kids with is one of THE most important decisions of your life. Choose carefully.

  • You can choose your wife but your kids can’t choose their mother. Choosing a good mom for your future kids is your responsibility and it’s not one that you should take lightly.

  • Be unafraid of approaching a beautiful woman. I dated many women more attractive than me and I never regretted making initial moves. There is NO ONE out of your league. Act and believe you are a catch, and you will find a catch yourself.

  • Socioeconomically, women marry across or up in terms of their mates

  • 5 Tips:

    • Don't expect her to change

    • Fully Understand & internalize the difference between infatuation and love

    • If she cheats, abandon her 

    • End toxic relationships before they end you

    • Don't wife up a woman with many partners.

  • Stay away from women who are bad with money. If she doesn’t understand your plan to keep your cost of living low and invest your extra dollars, stay away

  • A man once asked his father, “Father, how will I ever find the right woman?”
    His father replied, “Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man.”

    Before chasing women, become the best version of yourself instead:

    • Mind

    • Body

    • Career/Business

    • Spirit


Then put yourself in an environment with high quality women.


Things Men Should Never Do For Women:

1. Let her guilt you into doing things.
2. Go broke making her happy.
3. Pretend to be someone else.
4. Give up your values & beliefs.
5. Get in touch with your feminine side.
6. Change your dreams, goals or job.

7. Don’t be a slave to her emotions.


Dating tips:

  • When asking her out, always assume she will agree and you are just sorting out the details. It will give your invite a positive and confident frame.

  • Never bitch/complain/moan about anything in front of a woman.

  • She might ask you why you are single. Have a witty answer prepared.

(Most models are incredibly boring)

  • When meeting a woman, never attach yourself to a particular outcome. Be cool, and let what happens, happen.



How to tip the odds of success in your favor with women:


1) Be in legit shape

2) Dress well (be well groomed and smell good)

3) Be super chill and personable (i.e. high level of social acumen)

4) Don't worry about being rejected

If you’re not getting rejected once in a while, you’re not trying hard enough.


Man sees love in respect; woman sees love in care. If any of these is missing it won't work.


Greenlights in women

+family oriented
+good relationship with parents
+domestic, knows how to cook
+clean room
+feminine style
+physically healthy/fit
+loves kids
+fiscally responsible
+practices kindness (not niceness)
+reads books

+Grace

+Kind eyes.

  • "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light" - Matthew 6:22


Red flags in women

  • bad relationship with family

  • Many sexual partners.

  • can’t cook

  • doesn't clean, messy

  • Short hair

  • Drugs

  • Lying (of any sort. Even small lies. Throw the number away)

  • physically unhealthy

  • doesn't like kids

  • fiscally irresponsible 

  • Is "Nice", but not genuinely kind

  • Party girl

  • Her friends are narcissistic/party animals/shallow. They are big influences on your girl


Sometimes the reason a guy gets a girl is because he asked. Many men are too cowardly. If you meet a girl you like, pursue her.


Any man that has a problem going for what he wants is not a man. He’s a boy.

Just like you shouldn’t be afraid to ask any girl out, you also shouldn’t be afraid to drop a girlfriend that’s not working out. Yes, you’ll hurt feelings, but you need to do what’s best for you long term. A little pain in the short term is better than more pain later and wasted time.


What women want:

  • There are two things women want. Danger and play". - Nietzsche

  • Women desire these traits:

    • Singular focused 

    • Emotionally stable 

    • Protective

  • Women find the following attractive about men:

    • Physical Appearance 

    • Confidence

    • Protection

  • Treat her like a bratty little sister.” – David DeAngelo explaining part of the way to implement being “cocky and funny” mentality with attractive women.

  • “She craves the feeling of a threat, and the assurance of no harm.”

  • If you don't control your dick, your dick will control you.

That discipline (or lack of) can make or break your life. 

Do not be a slave to your biology.

  •  "Why is nature called mother nature, why is nature feminine?"


They're both beautiful, destructive, unreasonable, whimsical and never cease to test you.


Both ruthlessly destroy whatever is unable to survive them, and yet both nurture and give life to everything surrounding us.


Environment:

  • Everything is programming,

Music

Visuals

Reading

Be very very conscientious of the information you consume

You will ALWAYS become it

  • Here’s your reminder that your diet isn't just what you eat

It’s what you watch

It’s what’s you read

It’s what you listen to


  • Be mindful of whom you spend your time with. Your environment shapes you much more than you know.


  • If it is not making you happier, healthier, or calmer, or having better relationships, or wealthier, then what good is it? It's useless. You can safely discard it. - Naval


  • You wouldn't waste precious time and energy

worrying about WHAT people think about you

if you realized that:

a.  they rarely do think about you,

b.  and when they do, it is usually brief - without much care -

c.  because people are too busy obsessing over THEIR OWN lives.







  • Happy people don't bully people.


Positive energy = inspired = building.


Negative energy = resentful = destroying.


Happy people build up, unhappy people tear down.


It really is this simple


Almost everyone you meet that’s successful is helpful, kind, and has good energy. You know who brings the poison vibes, negativity & fills the air with doubt? People who haven’t accomplished much. It’s no coincidence. Steer clear of pessimistic people. Keep up on the Sunny Side my Son.


What is happiness

"Happiness" :

  •  Free Expression of Thoughts 

  •  Abundant Use of Talents and Strengths

  •  Nature 

  •  Challenging work

  •  Personal Growth

  •  Real Relationships 

  •  Good Physical Health

  •  Calm Mind

  •  Impacting Lives 

  •  Meaning 



Living in Your 20’s:


Be a hit at any party

 

1) Don't talk much about yourself

2) Actually listen to other people when they talk

3) Genuinely compliment others

4) Remember people's names and use them

5) Dress like a boss

 


On Investing:

  • Invest early - time is crucial

    • Invest 10 - 20% of your income. Buy assets. (Stocks,property,cryptocurrency)

    • Avoid fiscally irresponsible people.  Never marry one or otherwise give her access to your money.

    • Buy stock in several companies that make products & services that *you* believe in. Only sell if you think their products & services are trending worse. Don’t panic when the market does. This has served me well long term.

    • Avoid money managers. It’s your money and no one will care for it better than you.

    • Avoid debt.(only mortgage)

    • The greater the percent of your income you save and invest, the sooner you’ll have financial freedom.

    • Realize the market and the value of your shares will sometimes drop dramatically.  People all around you will panic.  They’ll be screaming Sell, Sell, Sell.  Ignore this.  Even better:  Buy more shares.

    • The less you need, the more free you are.

  • Questions to see if you ready to invest in your first house:

    • Will I live here for 5+ years?

    • Is my total monthly housing cost lower than 28% of gross monthly income?

    • Have I saved a 20% down payment?

    • Am I OK if the value of my house goes down?

    • Am I excited about buying?
      If “Yes” to all, it’s a good sign you’re ready to buy.

Raising your son:

Encourage him to be true, set his sights at the good, the beautiful, and then focus carefully on the concerns of each moment. Encourage your son to do what is right, and to strive to have his back while he is doing so.


Teach boys courage, composure, grit, determination & focus. No need to discuss emotions in the moment. That can come later. In the moment - the task takes precedence. Tempted to take the discomfort away? No. Otherwise, we cannot grow.


This is how fathers parent.And it's beautiful.


Treat your Wife Well:

Treat her as if she is the holy mother so that she may give birth to a world redeeming hero. Appreciate her. Communicate with her. 




Raising your daughter:

Stand by her, listen to her, care for her, train her mind, and let her know it’s OK if she wants to be a mother. Encourage her in everything she wants to courageously do. Also include a genuine appreciation for the fact of her femininity calling to include and recognize the importance of having a family and children.   

Appreciate your Parents:

Act such that your actions justified the suffering they endured. Remember all the sacrifices, love your parents and your grandparents. Be grateful for all the progress that has been made.


How to Be a Better Writer:

From Scott Adams:


The Day You Became A Better Writer

I went from being a bad writer to a good writer after taking a one-day course in “business writing.” I couldn’t believe how simple it was. I’ll tell you the main tricks here so you don’t have to waste a day in class.

Business writing is about clarity and persuasion. The main technique is keeping things simple. Simple writing is persuasive. A good argument in five sentences will sway more people than a brilliant argument in a hundred sentences. Don’t fight it.

Simple means getting rid of extra words. Don’t write, “He was very happy” when you can write “He was happy.” You think the word “very” adds something. It doesn’t. Prune your sentences.

Humor writing is a lot like business writing. It needs to be simple. The main difference is in the choice of words. For humor, don’t say “drink” when you can say “swill.”

Your first sentence needs to grab the reader. Go back and read my first sentence to this post. I rewrote it a dozen times. It makes you curious. That’s the key.

Write short sentences. Avoid putting multiple thoughts in one sentence. Readers aren’t as smart as you’d think.

Learn how brains organize ideas. Readers comprehend “the boy hit the ball” quicker than “the ball was hit by the boy.” Both sentences mean the same, but it’s easier to imagine the object (the boy) before the action (the hitting). All brains work that way. (Notice I didn’t say, “That is the way all brains work”?)

That’s it. You just learned 80% of the rules of good writing. You’re welcome.

 

Books To Read:

  • How to fail at almost everything and still win big by Scott Adams

  • How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie.

  • Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill

  • The Almanac of Naval Ravikant

  • The Power of Positive Thinking - by Norman Vincent Peele

  • Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

  • Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

  • 1984 by George Orwell

  • On The Shortness of Life by Seneca

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